


Ironic

by Chakahlah



Series: Harry Potter/Severus Snape oneshots [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Male Homosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chakahlah/pseuds/Chakahlah
Summary: Hermione discovers who Harry's mystery man is
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Series: Harry Potter/Severus Snape oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144454
Comments: 10
Kudos: 162





	Ironic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WereBunny87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WereBunny87/gifts).



> Hey Everyone! Sorry it has been a while. This last year has been insane in more ways than one. For those who are following 'Kitten', I have NOT abandoned it. I have the next two chapters typed, I just need to find the time to edit it. I also have the third partially written. As usual, thanks to Werebunny87 for the prompt.

Title: Ironic

Pairing: Harry/Severus

Summary: Hermione discovers something ironic in Harry’s relationship

Ironic

Hermione watched Harry as he walked towards her. It had been a few months since she had last seen him, and he was looking well. Deep in contemplation, she absent-mindedly rubbed her distended stomach.

“Is the Little One bothering you?” Harry’s voice broke through her thoughts.

“No more than her brother,” was her reply with a pat to the bulge.

Harry’s already bright smile brightened to an unimaginable degree.

“You chose to find the sex?”

“I was more worried about her being twins than keeping her sex a secret,” Hermione admitted with a twinkle of mischief in her eye. “And by worried, I mean hopeful.”

“What did Percy do for you to hope for twins as revenge?” Harry winced.

It had shocked many when Hermione decided the third son of Arthur and Molly was more her taste than their sixth son. Harry, Luna, Ginny and Neville had all agreed that it was inevitable. While the two of them made good friends, any other form of relationship between them would be almost volcanic in its explosions.

“He thought allowing Lavender and Parvati to take Hendrick with them on their ‘girl’s day’ was a good idea,” she sneered.

Harry winced, no longer feeling any pity for the older red-head.

“So instead of coming home from work to a happy child and calm husband, I find Percy almost pulling his hair out and Hendrick throwing a tantrum; not that I blame him. They kept him in a beauty salon for over six hours with nothing to occupy himself with. That would make me want to commit homicide and I’m not a boy’s boy like Hendrick.”

“’Mione, I’m not a boy’s boy like Hendrick is, and it would drive me to murder,” Harry stated, not at all ashamed of admitting it as he had once been, many years ago. “So, were you hoping you were carrying twins so you could name Fred and George their godparents?”

“Of course not. You are her Godfather, and would have been if she had been twins as well. I was going to make him watch them while I recovered, then tell Fred and George that as long as they keep the pranks against me to a minimum, they could teach them all about pranks.”

Hermione shot a sharp sideways glance.

“Speaking of … when will we be expecting kids from you and your mystery man?”

Harry froze and paled. Hermione frowned at him in concern.

“Has something happened?”

“Can you keep a secret?” Harry asked as he looked around in paranoia. “From everyone? Including your in-laws?”

Hermione reached over and grasped Harry’s hands in hers.

“When it comes to things you tell me, without hesitation,” she vowed fiercely. “You have never let me down Harry, not even when I told you in confidence that I felt a pull towards Percy even when he was being a traitorous walking scrotum towards you and his family. I can do nothing else by treat you with the same level of trust and respect you have always shown me.”

Harry smiled at her briefly before taking in a shuddering breath.

“We’ve just undergone compatibility testing,” he admitted to her. “We hope that we are compatible enough that a potion, spell or ritual will allow me to carry a child full term.”

Hermione looked at him with wide eyes. Harry had had several relationships before this one and in all of them, he had refused to even think of contemplating the test. Eventually a beaming smile slowly grew on her face.

“Oh, Merlin, Harry! That is wonderful!” she gasped. “Your Mystery Man must be someone special.”

“To get me to undergo the testing?” her brother in all bar blood stated bluntly.

She winced.

“He is,” he stated, ignoring the wince. “He is my balancer.”

“You mean …?” she whispered.

Harry nodded with a grimace.

“The emotional outbursts from fifth year onward was due to my magic being unbalanced. It was horrid, and my two ex-boyfriends were some help … until they mentioned compatibility tests.”

He sipped at his drink.

“The main thing with the result of the test is, if we are compatible, I am not allowed to be overly stressed or emotional during the process or I could lose the child. They made my magic react rather explosively when I did lose it.”

Hermione nodded her understanding, thinking back on the times Harry’s magic had reacted to something that was said ‘jokingly’ by Ernie or Seamus when Harry was dating them. More than once a trip to the Hospital was the result.

“So, when will we be meeting him?” she asked. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as Harry fidgeted in his seat. Hermione was interrupted by a waitress.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“Do you want something for lunch?” Harry asked Hermione, as he glanced at the menu.

“I’ll have the fettuccine, please,” she ordered, “with a mixed berry smoothie.”

“I’ll have the steak and mushroom sandwich with a side salad, a large long black, a chicken Caesar and a carrot, celery and ginger juice please.”

“Grilled chicken?”

“Please,” Harry stated with a polite smile.

“Are you ashamed of us?” Hermione almost stated after the waitress left.

“Not you, but everyone else? Yes.” Harry admitted without problem. “Ginny is still adamant that I date one of her teammates. Ron gags any time I look at another male, regardless if I’m attracted to them or not, George thinks I should give females a go, Fred tries embarrassing my partners.”

He took a deep breath. “Percy sneers at me and my date as though we are lower citizens because we prefer our own sex, Arthur does nothing to reign in his family but sends sheepishly smiles apologetically and don’t even get me started on Molly.”

“What is so bad with mum?” Hermione demanded. She had got into the habit of calling the elder Weasley’s mum and dad.

“Have you forgotten her tantrum over the age difference between you and Percy?” he dryly asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione flushed, remembering the storm she had to weather after revealing her relationship with the third eldest son.

“My point entirely,” Harry continued, voice still dry. “As it is, she would try to forbid my relationship just for who he is, let alone our age difference.”

The waitress from before returned to their table with a floating tray holding their drinks and Hermione’s meal. A younger female held the platter with Harry’s order. They were placed before them with silent nods and soft murmurs of thanks before they were once again left along.

“And how much are you ashamed of him?” Hermione bravely – or stupidly, depending on who you ask – asked.

“Not a bit,” Harry said firmly, “and I am disgusted that you would ask that after what I revealed to you.”

“As am I, Mrs Weasley,” a smooth, dark voice stated from behind her, causing her to jump and spin in her seat. There before her stood her old potion’s professor, looking much healthier and less stressed. “If it were not otherwise proven that a husband could not transfer his stupidity to his wife through insemination, I would suspect that is what happened to you.”

While Hermione was gaping speechlessly at the man’s words, he made his way around their table and sat beside Harry taking a large gulp of the coffee.

“Merlin, I needed that,” he moaned softly before placing a gentle kiss on Harry’s temple. “What did you order us?”

He raised an eyebrow as Harry pointed out what was theirs.

“We will share the sandwich before we touch the salads,” Severus stated. He stopped whatever Harry was going to say with a semi-stern look. “You need to eat more Iron-rich foods, and, as this is the only iron-filled item, you will have some of it.”

Hermione’s gap widened as Harry gave in without argument. She had never known him to give in to anyone and now he was giving in to one of his most hated professors. Her eyes narrowed.

“What, exactly, are you doing here?” she demanded, allowing her frustration with Percy show in her attitude towards the man.

“You are an intelligent woman,” Severus stated as he cut the sandwich into smaller pieces. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

She scowled at him as he gave a quarter of the food he was slicing to Harry, who obediently took a bite.

“From the way you are acting,” Harry stated once he had swallowed what he had in his mouth. “You have proven that it is best for me not to say anything and break all contact with everything connected to the Weasley family: - Yourself included.”

“Harry …”

“No, Hermione,” he fiercely rebuked. “You are taking your anger at Percy and taking it out on Sev. You asked me how much my not wanting to introduce my partner to everyone was due to me being embarrassed by him just after I revealed I had just undergone the compatibility test with him, and you became aggressive towards me when I hinted at Molly having a bad habit.”

Not looking at her, Harry waved down the waitress who served them and asked for everything he ordered to be placed in take-away containers.

“I understand you are pregnant,” he stated once the containers were produced, “but there is no reason for you at act the way you are except to ruin my happiness because your husband fucked up. Now, if you will excuse us, I’m sure you have somewhere more important to be than here with me. If I don’t hear from you before then, I will see you in two months, when you can escape your in-laws long enough to have another cuppa.”

Hermione flinched at the sting Harry’s words left behind while she desperately tried thinking of other reasons she didn’t see him more often, yet couldn’t. She only worked three days a week now she was pregnant, and Harry had never been against her bringing Hendrick with her on their catch-up days – unlike many of her other friends – who she saw more often due to Molly deciding she would have him every second weekend.

She almost sobbed when she realised that it wasn’t Harry that was pushing her away, but her who was pushing him away. He was the only friend of hers who had been with her the first year her son had been alive: Doing everything from watching him while she was sick, to babysitting him while she was at functions with Percy. There was even a time where both she and Percy had bad stomach bugs and no one wanted to risk getting it, so refused to watch Hendrick for them … but Harry, who was in an important meeting, immediately left, risking losing his job, to watch him while she and Percy took turns paining the toilet bowl with the contents of their last two days’ worth of meals.

“Mrs Weasley,” Severus’ voice snapped her from her thoughts. “I trust you are still intelligent enough to know not to mention anything shared by Harry today. If you do, know you are very close to being cut from his life. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”

It wasn’t until the older man wrapped his arm around her friend’s waist and hissed the top of his head that she realised that she had badly screwed up with Harry – who had chosen to introduce his mystery man to her before risking the rest of the Weasleys.

As she watched them happily walk down the street together, she wondered what was more ironic: That Severus was the key to calming Harry’s emotional magic outbursts, or that, in the end, he was a better person than all the Weasleys and her put together.


End file.
